i said NO to forgiveness

Wounds are still fresh and its still totally hurts..
Remembering everything continually cut my heart into pieces.
 It feels like all my efforts were wasted. 
All the love and trust I built were all useless.
Everything was a lie.
 He betrayed me.
He broke my trust.
He made me cry. 
He put me down. 
He totally destroyed my whole life..... 

I gave everything. 
I did anything to keep the relationship.
I exerted all the effort to hold back. I've done everything to make him stay. 
But still all aren't enough....

I deserved more than this for all the efforts and sacrifices I have made.
But then I realized that life is not fair.
I can't do any, only to ask for his guidance and beg for his forgiveness. 
For now, it doesn't have place in my heart. 
For someday, I know that it'll surely happen. 
Let go, forgive and finally forget.):
 I won't stop praying, until he open his ears and offer his arms for me. :(